Why Must Our Sons Learn About The Halachic Prenuptial Agreement?

Rebecca E. Samson

One simple word – RESPECT.

As mothers and fathers, we teach our children to respect one another, their parents, grandparents, siblings, rebbeim, teachers, friends, etc.  As our children get older, we teach them to respect the person, their future spouse, that they are dating and may eventually marry. It’s a simple lesson that we learned from the Torah — “Love your friend as yourself” (Vayikra, Kedoshim, 19:18).

So before your son even gets serious about dating, now is the time to teach him the importance of respecting his future wife. Speak to him about signing the halachic prenuptial agreement.

It is a matter of respect and trust that a couple can turn to each other before they even marry and say: “Even in the very worst circumstance, even if this marriage ends, chas v’shalom, I will not allow myself to act inappropriately towards you. I always want to treat you with the same respect that I have for you at the time of our marriage if there comes a time for our marriage to end.”

Unfortunately, divorce is a reality in the Jewish community. And even more unfortunate, there have been situations where a husband has refused to give a Get for unconscionable reasons, i.e., to extort money or to get additional concessions from his wife, or because of emotional reasons. Would you wanted to be treated disrespectfully if you were caught in this situation? What if this was your daughter married to a man that refuses to give his wife a Get? Why would you treat another person, someone that you initially loved and cared enough about to marry and possibly have children with in this manner?

There are no guarantees in life. The halachic prenuptial agreement protects someone from their worst inclinations which are brought out in the heat of a divorce, thereby ensuring that the get never becomes an issue of contention.

Every person should be able to say to their prospective spouse, “I love you so much, I never want to hurt you.” Put that in writing by having your son sign the halachic prenuptial agreement.

 

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